Opposites Attract, But Can a Marriage Survive with Different Hobbies?

The Talk:

Jimmy: Welcome to HotSeatInterviews.com! Today, we’re exploring an age-old question: Can a marriage really work when both partners have completely different hobbies and interests? Joining us to talk about this is relationship expert, David Sterling, who has spent over a decade helping couples navigate these very waters. David, thanks for coming!

David: Thanks for having me, Jimmy. I love talking about this topic because it’s something every couple deals with, whether they realize it or not.

Jimmy: So, let’s start with the obvious. Is it a problem if a couple has totally different hobbies?

David: Not necessarily. In fact, having different hobbies can be a great thing—it keeps the relationship interesting. The issue arises when couples don’t respect each other’s interests, or they allow those hobbies to take away from their time together.

Jimmy: What if one person loves sports and the other one can’t stand them? Can they still make it work?

David: Absolutely! The key is balance. You don’t need to love everything your partner does, but you do need to respect it. If someone is passionate about a sport, for example, their partner doesn’t have to join them, but it’s important that they support them. It’s about mutual respect.

Jimmy: What about couples who try to force themselves into each other’s hobbies? Can that backfire?

David: It can. While it’s great to take an interest in your partner’s passions, forcing yourself to enjoy something just to make them happy can lead to resentment. If you hate hiking but your partner loves it, join them occasionally, but don’t feel obligated to adopt it as your own hobby.

Jimmy: But isn’t it a problem if a couple doesn’t share any common interests? What’s the glue that holds them together?

David: Shared values are much more important than shared hobbies. A couple can have completely different interests, but if they’re aligned on big things like family, finances, and life goals, the relationship can still thrive. Hobbies are just a part of who we are—they don’t define the entire relationship.

Jimmy: How do couples find that balance? Where’s the sweet spot between “me time” and “we time”?

David: That’s a great question. The sweet spot is different for every couple, but communication is key. You need to discuss how much time you want to spend together versus apart. Some people need more alone time to recharge, while others need more together time to feel connected. Finding that balance requires honest conversations.

Jimmy: Do you see couples who struggle with this often in your practice?

David: All the time. Often, it’s not the hobbies themselves that cause the issue, but the lack of communication around them. One partner feels neglected because the other is spending too much time on their hobbies, or one feels smothered because they’re not getting enough personal time. It’s all about setting boundaries and expectations.

Jimmy: Can different hobbies actually improve a marriage?

David: Definitely! Different hobbies can give partners space to grow individually, which is healthy for any relationship. It allows them to bring new energy and experiences back into the relationship. Plus, having time apart can make the time spent together feel even more special.

Jimmy: So, what’s your advice for couples struggling with this issue right now?

David: My advice is to talk about it. Discuss how much time you each need for your hobbies and how you can support each other. Don’t try to change your partner’s interests—embrace them. But also find activities you enjoy together to maintain that connection.

Jimmy: Great advice, David. Thanks for shedding light on this issue!

David: My pleasure, Jimmy. I hope couples feel encouraged to celebrate their differences instead of letting them drive a wedge between them.


Profile of the person who was interviewed:

  • Name: David Sterling
  • Age: 42
  • Background: David Sterling is a certified marriage counselor and relationship coach who has helped countless couples navigate the challenges of differing interests. With a focus on communication and personal growth, he empowers couples to embrace their individuality while maintaining a strong, connected partnership.



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